i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
