Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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