you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I stole a fireplace last night.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize