i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
