Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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