I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize