I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Houston, we have a blender
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize