Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
