At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
