ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
