Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
