So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
