YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
