These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
