she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
