I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize