So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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