I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I love black thongs
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize