I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She bit a glass in half.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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