My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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