Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
