You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Panties = found
Randomize