is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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