Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
