At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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