I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
