Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
