We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
