4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
