It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
