It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
