just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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