it hurts more in the daytime
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
