I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Still dying that you shit outside
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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