Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
