Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
