Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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