tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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