i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
