I just cut my nipple shaving
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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