You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
