In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize