New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Come see our sink grown plant.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We need to feng shui this bitch.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
