Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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