My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
My friends, they love my intelligence
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
