Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
where does the pee come out of this thing
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
