Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
