..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
