I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
