I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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