How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
