I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
