Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
