I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
