what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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