I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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