did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
